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During the early days of life with a newborn, you’re focused on what’s best for the baby, so sleepless nights seem like a small price to pay. By week six, however, waking up every few hours starts to get old. And by month three, you might be pretending to be asleep, hoping that your partner will get up first and fetch a bottle. You can’t remember what it feels like not to be tired.
The good news is that most babies begin sleeping through the night between 3 and 4. The key is building solid sleep habits that can stick with you for years. Our expert seven-day plan can help establish a good night’s sleep for you and your baby, with a minimum of crying along the way. Just be sure to talk with your child’s doctor before starting sleep training to ensure your baby is ready for it and doesn’t need any additional care at night.
Is it possible to get your baby sleep trained in 7 days? Some experts say yes. Sleep training goals will be different for everyone, but learning strategies such as instituting a positive sleep routine and encouraging self-soothing in your little one could benefit both of you. And at the very least, you could learn some tips on how to get your baby to sleep without being held. No matter what your sleep goals are, if you and your baby are ready to take the next step for sleep, here is a 7-day, step-by-step routine for sleep training.
Many babies get their days and nights mixed up, napping for long periods in the afternoon and waking up to play at bedtime. But our sleep training technique will fix that. The latest research shows that infants can be taught the difference between night and day from the get-go. You simply need to provide the cues that allow this to happen. Here are some steps you can take:
The natural light helps babies organize their circadian rhythms. Letting them nap with natural light can also promote this process. If they wake from a nap in the daylight, they understand it’s time to get up. If they wake at night in the dark, they’ll learn to go back to sleep.
At nighttime, begin some quiet rituals. Decide on a specific bedtime routine, dress your child in their pajamas and put them down in their crib for the night with the lights out. Just prior to tucking them in, read a story or sing a song, which helps your baby’s motor and sensory system slow down.
On day two, focus on building the consistent routine you began. If your child still requires nighttime feedings, it’s a good time to accentuate the difference between day and night. Keep night feedings very relaxing, with the lights low. Do everything you can to avoid stimulating your baby. And during the day, make feedings a time of high activity, when you tickle their feet or sing songs, so they begin to perceive the difference.
Pay careful attention to what soothes your baby in the evening too. A bath may be calming for one child and invigorating for another. You might also want to try adding white noise. The hum of a fan or air conditioner or a radio set on static works well for many infants. The good thing about white noise is that you can fade it out over time, once your baby begins to sleep more predictably.
Steel yourself: Day three involves putting your child down in their crib while they’re still awake. It’s the single most important thing you can do. If they fall asleep at your breast during their bedtime feeding, for example, arouse them enough that their eyes are open when you place them in the crib. Or even better, shift your baby’s bedtime feeding to the start of their bedtime routine. Of course, a little—or a lot—of crying may ensue. But rest assured, it will be tougher on you than on your baby.
Parents naturally find it agonizing to listen to their little one cry, but just keep reminding yourself that the end result—sleep!—will benefit the whole family. Get over the worry that ignoring your baby while they cry will do psychological harm. If you’ve been meeting their every need in other ways, this situation certainly won’t lessen their sense of security.
If some nighttime tears do ensue, periodically check on your baby and reassure them that you’re there; aim for every three to five minutes the first night. But keep your visits brief: Don’t turn on the light, remove them from the crib, or offer them a pacifier or a bottle. If they fall asleep with one of these crutches, they’ll cry for it again if they wake up or at bedtime tomorrow night.
Day three was a long one. Expect an improvement on day four. Your baby will remember a little sooner that crying doesn’t produce results. When they protest, you can lengthen your response time to every ten minutes or stick with checking every few minutes. And whatever happens, don’t give in. If you’re inconsistent, the baby learns to hold out—they’ll just up the ante and cry twice as long tomorrow night.
Most babies get with the program in three to five days, so this could be your lucky night. If your child is still holding their own, you can lengthen your response time to 15 minutes, or stick to what you have been doing. Some babies need the frequent reassurance that you’re checking on them, but others find it a tease.
Checking on the baby is really for the parents’ benefit. If you notice that you’re fueling your child’s reaction every time you go in and you can tolerate staying away, it’s fine to do so. Just peek at them through a crack in the door instead so they don’t actually see you.
The other frequent problem at this point is night feedings. At about 3 to 4 months, most infants are ready to give them up—but you can’t just stop cold turkey with a younger baby. You can, however, keep them as brief and quiet as possible: Cuddle your baby but don’t sing to them, keep the lights out even during diaper changes, and settle them in the crib as soon as they’re done, even when they are awake.
Sounds like bliss, doesn’t it? But chances are you’ll be wandering the halls a little anyway. You may find yourself getting up to check on the baby—but relax. Dress them in warm PJs if their room feels cold, and turn the monitor down so that you hear them only if they’re really in distress. Now that you’ve made so much progress, don’t wreck it by rushing in too quickly. Let your child soothe themself. You also need to relax so that you can fall asleep!
Give yourself a big pat on the back. Not only have you regained your sleep, but you’ve given your baby an important gift: Good sleep habits are as critical as good hygiene to a child’s well-being. Of course, there will be setbacks, such as an illness, a new sibling, or an unfamiliar hotel room. Even children who are good sleepers will have problems now and then. But fall back on our foolproof plan whenever the need arises. Your child will respond with even less difficulty the second time around because they already know the drill.
© 2023 All rights reserved Baby & Toddler - part of parent promotions