There are small ways to express your love to your child so they feel it—and that feeling of a parent’s love can improve every aspect of their life.
Your child wants to know they are important to you. A good way to do that? Make sure your child knows you’re interested in their thoughts. Put down the electronics and show a genuine interest in what your child has to say. Talk to them, ask for their opinions about various real-world subjects, and demonstrate that their thoughts and ideas matter to you.
There’s no need to make everything a learning activity or a challenge. Find ways to simply have fun together. Play games, be silly, and step into their world. Allow for unstructured time just to be together. This is the best way to bond with kids and show them that you value them enough to create time to spend together.
Saying “I love you” to your child is very important, but don’t underestimate the power physical touch has in reinforcing the loving bond you have with your children. Make the effort to hug them each and every day as much as possible.
Not the lovey-dovey type? Parents can still demonstrate their love with small gestures. We suggest parents write notes and put it in their lunch, offer praise, give high fives, and say kind things about your kids in front of other people. Your actions speak volumes about how much you care for them. They will feel loved when you do extra little things for them or when you say nice things about them.
This ritual doesn’t have to be complicated or expensive. The commodity you are giving your child is your time. Maybe it’s a fun bedtime saying or routine, or making their favorite cookies together on Sundays. Whatever it is, do it routinely and make it unique and special for each child.
Asking children for their input whether it’s where to get take-out for dinner or something bigger like what they think about relocating acknowledges that what they have to say matters and that you value their opinion. Knowing that they, too, have a say increases their feeling of belonging as well as security.
Children thrive on consistency. Maintain the child’s bedtime, mealtimes, wake-up time, homework schedule, and extra-curricular activities. The more stable your child’s life and routine the more they will feel secure and loved, and the less anxiety they will suffer.
If you have two or more children, making each feel loved, secure, and important takes a bit more planning and thought. How to do that Honor their individuality. Don’t compare your children and support all of their talents and pursuits. If one child wants to be a soccer player and the other wants to play the clarinet, show them that you value their interests—even when they aren’t things you can relate to. Spend individual time with each child. Every child wants and needs to feel important and be front and center in the mind of their parent. Spend at least 10 to 15 minutes each day giving one-on-one attention while doing an activity your child loves. This is another time when you should shut your phone off and pay complete attention to your child.
You may not realize that family dynamics are impacting your child but your child’s environment can play a role in making them feel your love. Children learn a lot about relationships by seeing how their parents interact. Parents who show affection and love for each other teach kids how to treat family members. Being a good role model is important since your child watches everything you do.
It may sound cliché, but children really do prefer your presence rather than your presents. Think back to your own childhood and consider what you remember most. You’ll likely recall doing fun activities with your parents. And you probably don’t remember what you got for your birthday when you were 10. With that in mind, it’s important to think about the life lessons you want your children to learn and the type of memories you want to create with them.
Children need to know they are loved even if they make a mistake. Express that you’re proud of them for taking responsibility and then use it as a learning opportunity for the future, discuss the situation and pose these questions: What did you learn? What would you do differently next time? This gives them the message they aren’t always going to be perfect, no one is, but that you have faith they will figure it out and they are competent to manage this. At the same time, you are also building their confidence since you are helping them find ways to fix their mistakes rather than stepping in for them. A double win!
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